"How do I talk to my parents about sensitive aging issues?"

I get this question so many times as a nurse when I meet with families. As a result we have created a guide to help you talk with your parents about sensitive topics. The time to start talking with senior parents is sooner rather than later, when a crisis has occurred. But how do you bring up sensitive subjects? These tips and common senior situations are just what you need to get started.

The Medication Quagmire

When visiting your 85-year-old dad, you see bottles of medication on the kitchen counter, on the bathroom counter and on his nightstand. You wonder how he is keeping all of his medications straight. What do you ask?
It's good to use humor and, in a situation like this, to assume that he is keeping them straight (innocent until proven guilty). There may be good reasons why some of his medications are in the kitchen (he's taking them with food), while others are on the nightstand (he's taking them before bed). Pointing to a bottle and asking, "How the heck do you keep all these pills straight, Dad?" would be a good conversation starter. If the response includes the reasons you suspected above, then it sounds like things are under control. If, however, he says, "I don't know. I do my best. I'm not even sure what some of them are," then the situation probably needs more attention. If he's having a problem, talk to him about a pill organizer, which could help him keep his medications better organized: "Dad, I've heard about organizers that can help you keep all your pills in one place and make it easier for you to keep them straight. Why don't I check into it?" In addition, one service that Home Instead CAREGivers provide seniors is medication reminders to assist them in managing their daily medications.

When Health Changes Lifestyles

Your 70-year-old widowed mother has just been diagnosed with macular degeneration, a disease that causes deterioration of eyesight. How do you begin a conversation with her about the possible ramifications of this disease on her life? Many seniors in this situation might begin the conversation with family themselves. If not, then it would be good to think about her personal circumstances and important areas to address. For example, if your mother lives in a remote area, transportation is probably the most immediate issue. Approach the conversation with the goal of trying to resolve this one issue, rather than multiple issues.Timing is the key. There are rarely urgent deadlines that have to be met immediately--give yourself and your parent time to think about issues. Your mom would likely be receptive to a conversation that begins: "Let's figure out a plan for how you can get around town if you no longer feel safe driving."


Do you have a question about a sensitive topic you are facing with your aging parent? Please post a comment and our team of nurses and social workers are happy to provide some assiastance.